my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
