I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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