it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
