True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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