I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize