the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
