i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
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This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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