Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
