Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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