In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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