Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She even gives head with a lisp.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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