I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
