I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize