My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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