This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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