They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
