we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
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