this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
