How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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