I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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