my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize