There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
