apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
