Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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