I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
