The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
