she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
either way he was missing a nipple.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
