You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
