toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize