I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize