You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
