I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
