...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
