Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
