My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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