I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
