ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
