That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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