Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize