Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize