Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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