Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
