Ketchup is God's man juice
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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