Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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