Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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