Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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