Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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