i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
