I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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