Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
