I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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