just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
