He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
