i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
