You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
