How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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