it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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