Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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