If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
