so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
